Rowling, Inc., Releases Statement about Russians Who Pretended to be Zalensky

Those in the Rowling, Inc., bunker miles beneath King’s Cross met in special session yesterday morning to craft a public response to the video released by Russian comedians Vovan and Lexus. I posted the remarkable TheRowlingLibrary YouTube video yesterday with three comments you can read here to catch up on the subject. The Hollywood Reporter, a curious venue for the release but perhaps Rowling’s agent and barrister has an ‘in’ there from his days with Warner Brothers, printed the statement in part:

The author’s spokesperson called the hoax “distasteful” and noted, “J.K. Rowling was approached to talk about her extensive charitable work in Ukraine, supporting children and families who have been affected by the current conflict in the region. The video, which has been edited, is a distorted representation of the conversation.”

I think it’s fair to call that reaction “predictable” because I predicted yesterday that this would be the party line, though I hoped they’d not give the subject any oxygen at all. The video itself, with Rowling’s several allusions to children followed by breaks reflecting edits and cuts, all but confirms that this ‘spin’ from The Presence’s handlers is almost certainly true. This explanation makes why Rowling was deceived into thinking she was talking to President Zalensky but does not make her several embarrassing comments any the less humiliating given she was trying to win Zalensky to the Lumos cause.

What we haven’t seen yet, is a translation of the Putin Fans Trio’s serenade to Rowling (10:15 in video), after which she told them more than once that she loved them. I’m confident that this must have been the funniest part of the hoax to viewers in Russia and Ukraine because Rowling cannot read their shirts (“Only Putin”) or understand the lyrics but feigns an enthusiasm for the group. I will share a translation of these lyrics here when I have them. I’ve reached out to Russian speaking friends, but welcome your version in the comment boxes below.


  1. This will really hurt jo personally and i do feel sad for her but if you take an active stance in a war you should expect return fire and she got badly wounded.

    She must fork out fortunes each year to ensure that embarrassing and humiliating events like this don’t happen.. she’s been let down. She should ‘off’ her agent he appears to have a lot of influence on her and is a rabid zionist but i expect she can’t as he is probably well connected in the world of the secret services, anyone as influential as her very quickly gets introduced to those boys and they have ways to influence you and make you do their bidding.

    i met jo many years ago before HP when she was a very lovely though slightly disturbed 28 yr old all she wanted to do was write for a living that was her dream.. i expect she’s isolated in the shed now crying, cringing and angry at herself.. war is a bastard jo.

  2. @mick lol at acting like Rowling should be condemned for taking “an active stance in a war“ like she should just be quiet and keep to herself. How is that any different from the activists who want to silence her?

    And I’m sure she’ll be fine, this will barely be a blip on the news considering what else is happening right now. The only people making a big fuss about it are people who already hate her and people who support Russia’s invasion of Ukraine and are angry at her opposition to it.

  3. @jacob i never said she shouldn’t take a stance nor did i condemn her for it..(read it again, you’re making assumptions) she’ll be extremely mortified and hurt by this that’s for certain. it’s hard to fathom how useless her agent/staff must be at protecting her from this kind of thing especially considering how much she undoubtedly pays out for it and the fact that she would clearly be a potential target for the WELL KNOWN russia pranksters.

  4. @mick you said in the other post that “she comes across as being fascist”

  5. p.s. i forgot to say that on tuesday, wednesday and thursday on jk twitter if you clicked the link on her pinned lumos donating tweet it sent you to volov and lexus rutube channel… someone’s losing the intelligence war!

  6. @jacob coming across as a bit fascist is different from condemning her for taking a stance or trying to silence her.. what’s your point?

  7. @mick how is calling her a fascist not condemning her? And “if you take an active stance in a war you should expect return fire“ seems like you’re saying it was Rowling’s fault for speaking out against Putin’s invasion before.

  8. @jacob didn’t call her a fascist for starters.. you’re goading and i’m not playing, i feel sad for jo .. and once again i’ll repeat her team are useless at doing their job.. they’re a joke!

  9. David Llewellyn Dodds says

    Can anyone direct me to detailed information about what Lumos or other of “her extensive charitable work in Ukraine, supporting children and families who have been affected by the current conflict in the region” have done for children and families in Donetsk and Luhansk in the current conflict in the region tasking “current” in the senses (1) from spring 2014 to 23 February 2022 and (2) from 24 February 2022 to the present?

  10. Nick Jeffery says

    Hello David, the mission of Lumos is to provide family support to children in institutions and has been working in Ukraine since 2013:

    The invasion of course severely curtailed the pilot program:

    From 24/02/22 Lumos has concentrated activities in Zhytomyr west of Kyiv:

    And more recently Odessa:

    Given the current active war and the necessary cooperation of the local authorities, it is unlikely that any detailed information will be available for areas currently under Russian occupation.

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